reasons

i've found reasons

to throw myself

under a train

to jump off a bridge

to shot myself

to overdose

to tear my eyes out

to bite my fingers off

to bleed myself dry

to choke with my own vomit

to stop breathing

to forget.

but

i've also found reasons

to love

to smile

to love

to dance

to laugh

to sigh

to love love love even more.

i just

can't remember

any.